We often think of bullying as a problem that kids deal with in school. Unfortunately, it also happens as adults and in the work place. It’s usually done with a more subtle approach than the kid on the playground or the mean girls in high school, but it’s important to see it for what it is.
Has someone ever presented your idea as their own?
Have you been singularly excluded from department or team events?
The bad news is that adult bullying in and out of the workplace is a problem. The good news is that we all can be part of the solution.
Adult bullying can include:
- Physical: threats, intimidation, or pushing
- Tangible or Material: misusing a position of authority or power, taking credit for your work
- Verbal: gossip, harassment, etc.
- Passive-aggressive: sarcasm, condescension, and underhanded ridicule or sabotage
- Cyber bullying: most often done on social platform
How can you stand up when you’re bullied?
- Remember that the bully is the one with the problem, not you.
- Unless you’re in physical danger, calmly call out their behavior. This is especially effective in public.
- Look for a witness or ally. You might need someone to corroborate the situation.
- Go to an authority figure or HR. There are laws in place that prevent many bullying tactics.
- Remember that everyone has the right to be treated with respect, to express your feeling, to have differing opinions, and to protect yourself.
What can you do when you see someone is being bullied?
- Don’t just watch – take action. This could be stepping in to assist, having everyone walk away (bullies like an audience), or getting help.
- Don’t be part of the problem. Passively watching makes the bully feel like he is in control or that you’re on her side. Speak up.
- Portray yourself as powerful in your stance, voice, and confidence.
- Separate the victim from the bully. Calmly but firmly excuse yourselves and lead the victim away.
- Use humor to defuse the situation, if possible.
- Be kind to everyone involved. You don’t want to escalate a situation by bullying a bully. It doesn’t work.
- Get help during or after the altercation. It usually takes an authority figure to prevent another situation.
